I am sorry daughter. It is not that I don't love you or think about you every hour of the day, but for a million little reasons, I have very few pictures of me pregnant with you. When I was pregnant with your oldest brother, I had all the time in the world to make myself look cute, line the camera up just right, and of course, since my house was so clean all the time, I did not worry about any questionable items that may appear in the background (ie. dirty diapers, messes, dirty dishes etc...) I had no stretch marks, I felt fabulous in my new maternity clothes and frankly, what else did I have to do on my days off from work? I probably have 50 pictures of my pregnant self that first time around.
And do you think that Oliver will ever want to see those pictures? Proooooobably not.
Next up was Elliott and although I had slightly less "free time" on my hands, I was still getting 2 naps a day from Oliver and the extent of the messes that he made was pretty limited, compared to what I now consider a "big mess". I still showered regularly and I had a few outfits that I could wear that looked nice and so I made it work and ended up with I'd say, 20 pictures of me pregnant with Elliott.
And do you think that Elliott will ever want to see those pictures? Proooobably not.
And that brings us to you, my darling daughter. My daughter who will probably seek out pictures of what I looked like while carrying her. My daughter, my child, who for once will want to know the details of what it was like to be pregnant and see "how I carried" and where and how much weight I gained and what I looked like as a young mother and what kinds of things I did before she was with us...because in addition to an inexplainable fascination with our mother-daughter connection and all the ways that we are or are not alike (at least that has been my experience), she will likely have a similar experience when it is her time to become a mama.
And what will I have to show her?
Up until last week when my friend posted this picture on facebook, I had nothing. Can you even see me in this picture?
I am sorry daughter.
I certainly intended to take pictures but it seems that if I had the time, than I didn't look right (no shower, old makeup under my eyes, less than appropriate clothing, a messy house in the background etc...) and if I did happen to pull myself together, than my camera would be out of batteries or no where to be found or just plain old no time. We even went to two weddings without our children in the last month alone and you know what? I intentionally did not bring my camera because I didn't want to have to hold anything (In my defense, I did get to dance the night away and socialize my heart out at both events so it was not for nothing :))
So, after the aforementioned Facebook reality check, I decided to just make it happen whenever the opportunity arrived and not worry so much about the details of the picture or it's subject (me). So, here I am (or should I say "Here we are!!") at 35 weeks along and very, very excited to meet you.
Love, your Mama
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