Soooo...I was not expecting to have to wait so long for this baby to come. My due date was the 15th and thought for sure that I wouldn't make it all the way. I thought that I would make it to my first or second day of maternity leave and then deliver...oh well, I guess the baby will come when it is ready and as bizarre as it sounds, knowing that it WILL come eventually is a comfort. As the due date came and went without even a hint of labor, part of me was like "well, I guess I am not going to have a baby". May 15th was my goal day for the whole pregnancy and something that I really held onto, especially when I was not feeling well or having a hard time at work. So, to see it come and go with no big to-do (I am not sure what I was expecting) left me with a feeling of disappointment or something like that- I cannot really put my finger on it. But, as with so many other aspects of my life it seems, I feel like God is using this as another opportunity to help me learn to surrender my need to control the situation and trust His timing...which has always been for my best. I read in one of my books yesterday that the baby will come when the baby is ready- how can I argue with that, especially if it is what is best for the baby. After that, I felt more at ease about waiting for God's timing and made up my mind to enjoy this wonderful time to appreciate all the good things in my life-which there is a lot of!
Sean and I have actually had a lot of fun over the last 2 weeks since I've been on maternity leave. To be totally honest, it feels a lot like getting out of school for the summer and that is a feeling that you can only fully appreciate after you no longer have the opportunity to have a summer break. I feel like I am getting a second chance to go back and fully appreciate how good we all had it as kids with no responsibilites or concerns- I almost feel guilty about how much fun I am having. A dear old friend of mine came to visit for a few days and we went to 2 Happy Hours in one afternoon and saw a good friend play live music in Sacramento. Sean's sister Kalani came home from school in Arkansas and came up to visit and we alternated laying around by the pool and vigorous walking and bike riding around Davis. We stayed out past midnight dancing at The Grad and spent a weekend with our families in the Bay Area for Mother's Day. We laid on the grass and watched a magnificent fireworks show at the park across the street from our house with Alice and John and the kids (Sean proposed at the same show there 2 years ago) and we went and saw a matinee of Star Trek which was actually very good. What is making all this even better is the fact that we know these footloose and fancy free days are numbered- but for the best reason of all: one of these days we are going to have a baby and our way of life will never be the same. I think that it is in the back of our both our minds all the time and so I think we are both trying to just live in the moment. The weather is beautiful and warm and we are staying up late with all the doors open and the fans running and each new day holds the chance that it will be "The Day". I feel great- better than what I would expect so, for now, I am just going to enjoy where we are and love my husband and our simple little life. Who knows, next time I write, it could be a totally different story. I hope so.